He Said Hey, I Said What...

The truth had to come out sooner or later... and I can't hide it any longer. I was a fan of New Kids on the Block.

And when I say fan, I mean that in every sense of the origin of the word: fanatic. My sister and I (sorry to out you, sister-dear) went to four-- yes, FOUR concerts. We videotaped every television appearance, and even wrote down the top 10 songs on KIIS FM every night and cheered when more than one NKOTB song graced the countdown (which I'm sure some of you will be surprised to learn was often). And my most humiliating confession related to the original boy band? I actually pulled a muscle in my throat from screaming so loud (and rather enthusiastically) at a concert at Dodger's Stadium in 1991. Yeah.

But even if I'm a little embarrassed by memories of my over-zealousness and vehement defense of all things New Kids (I specifically remember some biting retorts of "you're just jealous" to certain boys who would tease me about it...), in retrospect, I actually think it's all a little funny... okay; a LOT funny. But, *sigh*. I did love that bad boy (as bad as a New Kid could be, that is...), Donnie Wahlberg (who, by the way, does happen to be a critically acclaimed actor now...).

And while I'm a tad bit discomfited by my reaction to the 'Kids, I actually have never been embarrassed about liking them... until I saw this little reminder (that I actually remember watching live...) of a Christmas-time performance on the Arsenio Hall Show. I watched it today with a mixture of morbid fascination... and then I had to watch it a second time, during which I laughed my ass off. I can't believe my mother let us watch these guys; I haven't seen so many hip thrusts and butt shaking since... well, ever (and I think that I actually spied a little Roger Rabbit thrown in there...).

Pseudo-pornographic dancing aside, I think that you'll agree that there's nothing better than watching a bunch of white boys attempting to rap... the problem is that Arsenio decides to sit in and offer a little rap as well which unfortunately, further demonstrates that with the exception of Eminem and the Beastie Boys, white boys shouldn't rap. But all in all, a little piece of the late 80s/early 90s ripped from the cultural archives (I mean, come on, people-- Arsenio!! Whoo! Whoo! Whoo!).

So without further ado, may I present, "Have a Funky, Funky Christmas":