I'll Be Home For Christmas

Heading to La-La Land to spend the holidays with the fam tomorrow. It's been a while since I've been "home" (as much as it can be home considering I've now officially lived away from CA longer than I actually lived there...). Needless to say, I'm looking forward to seeing them (minus one A, who will not be gracing us with her presence...) and catching up with old friends.

Speaking of old friends, myspace is my new favorite thing. In the last year or so, I have found some of my favorite people. Found, quite literally, because they were indeed lost-- or perhaps I was... but either way, now we've all found each other and it's been quite nice getting to know them again. It's a strange thing this myspace world, because it connects you with old friends but really, you're meeting new people because you haven't actually talked to these people for half of your life. In my case, most of the friends are from junior high (we were split up when we went to different high schools), bonds of friendship formed in mutual commiseration over acne, puberty, and a slew of firsts: crushes, kisses, heartbreaks, dances, best friends, no friends and really, really bad fashion (it was the 80s, after all).

Reminiscing with the old crew has brought back a lot of buried memories, and even prompted me to peruse old journals and, unfortunately, relive some of that angst--a surprisingly semi-humiliating, provocative and eye-opening experience that I seriously plan not to relive anytime soon (as G so aptly pointed out, the past is past for a reason...). It's humorous, though, to read how heart-achingly important everything was... and actually, a little disturbing. But at the same time, it's so nice to connect with these people who were such a big part of my formative years and contributors to who I am today (whether they know it or not).

Reconnecting and re-living some of the memories of, oh, more than 15 years ago (?!) has also made me appreciate where I am and how far I've come. Although the last 15+ years have been a giant jumble of confusion at times, I'm in a better place than I have ever been. I'm happy with where I am and, even more importantly, who I am. Who knew that awkward 13 year old could come so far?