Weddings and Celebrations

I remember one weekend during college when I was visiting my aunt and uncle in New Jersey and we were lounging in their living room reading the Sunday NYT. I was laying on the carpet, leafing through Arts & Leisure while my aunt perused Sunday Styles (my favorite section that I hoard even today until the rest of the paper is read and put away). I remember the sun filtering through the front windows; the lazy Sunday unfolding before us over late morning tea with the promise of a luxurious afternoon nap in the near future, when my aunt placed the paper on the ottoman and said, "you know, one day you're going to know someone in here."

"In where?" I asked.

"In the NYT weddings section," she answered.

I scoffed. How would I know anyone important enough for their wedding to be announced in the NYT?

"You'll see," she said, nodding matter-of-factly. "You go to Vassar; your friends are the people whose weddings are announced in the NYT."

I remember the first time I saw one such person. Okay, so she wasn't a friend, but she was someone that I went to school with, and I did know her, if only peripherally. And that Sunday with my aunt came flooding back and it was then-- two years ago, to be exact, that I realized that maybe my life wasn't ever supposed to be ordinary... and that my school, and my experience there and the people I met, meant something. I've always known that Vassar was a special place; going there was a decision-- maybe the best I've ever made, that changed my life. Vassar grads seem to be everywhere you turn-- on tv and in the movies; they're politicians and social activists; they're renowned businesspeople and scholars; they're artists and authors. It doesn't really sound like a lot; after all, many schools can claim famous alums. But when you consider Vassar's size (a mere 2,300 students when I was there, and even smaller the years prior), it's a lot more impactful. I guess until that point, I didn't consciously realize that "those Vassar grads" who were accomplished-- and famous, could be related to me. And that someday those people, could be me.

There have been other mentions of fellow Vassar grads in the prestigious NYT weddings section; and non-Vassar grads that I know-- or once knew, too. Today was one of those days-- the wedding of a childhood friend of a former, very dear friend (from Vassar) of mine was announced, in all its prominent glory. I read this section faithfully every weekend, and think about the people who are publicly declaring their love and starting this new journey together. It's something that makes me happy and sad, all at the same time. My immediate reaction was a smile spreading across my face-- these people who I knew years ago, who met in undergrad and who have worked so hard to become the accomplished people they are today, waiting until they had achieved what they dreamt of academically and had the plans for their professional future laid out in front of them, were finally getting married. And today is the day that they get to start a whole new adventure together. And what makes more sense than two people who love each other as much as they do, doing that?

But sometimes in these moments, sadness creeps in and I feel like I'm being left behind while my friends and loved ones are walking-- and in some cases running, along a path that I don't get to follow. With the flurry of weddings and babies surrounding you, most of the time you don't notice it. But every once in a while I do wonder if there will ever come a day where my wedding will be announced in the NYT.