Presentation Schmexellence

My boss has been trying to get me into a Presentation Skills class for about a year-- it's generally given to salespeople, but since I'm targeted as "high potential," she thought that it was a good "development opportunity." Plus, she took the class and loved it. So while I've successfully dodged it thus far, my number came up this week... and I was forced into what I'd like to call "organized torture."

Ten of us in a room, learning how to be a more effective presenter. Doesn't sound so painful, does it? Someone teaching you carriage and gesture (good-- as long as not obscene), "vocal variety" (show emotion, emphasize points by slightly raising your voice), pausing (don't say "UM" or "aaaannnd....") and making eye contact... with everyone in the room, whether there's two people or one hundred. Your goal is to make each and every person feel like you have something to say, just to them.

All good, right? Well, sure... until you take into consideration that it's not simply someone talking at you... but rather, you actually have to practice this stuff... in front of 9 of your peers, and ON CAMERA. Yes. You are being videotaped. And to add insult to injury? You then get to watch your performance-- on painfully slow and paused playback, along with the rest of the room. Over and over again.

I'm not an actor; I hate to draw attention to myself. Yes, I did get up on stage in college all the time and sIng in front of people. But I had 11 other people backing me up. Sure, for a salesperson, or someone who delivers presentations over and over again, this training is awesome. They want to be the rockstar; they were the high school football jock or the class president or the cheerleader. But me? I was the VICE President. Why? Because I HATE TO PRESENT. And to the person (me) who gets up in front of an audience every year, year and a half or so, it's like pulling your finger nails out with a pair of pliers. The only thing that I can think about during those painfully long playbacks are, "God, I need a haircut... is that how I really look? Maybe I should take Jen's advice and wear lipstick... when did I gain all that weight?"

Day one is over... now there's day two... five more tapings to go... and instead of prepping my presentation I'm blogging... prolonging the torture. There's a reason I chose my current vocation... because I'm the "man behind the curtain." I'm the one who puts words in everyone else's mouth because I hate delivering them myself. My favorite phrase, along the lines of... lover not a fighter? "I'm a writer, not a speaker."