Mommy Spears-est

What she's thinking:

1. "My career is in the toilet, I don't have a record deal, and I really need the publicity."
2. "My husband is a loser, I made a huge mistake, and maybe if I do enough things wrong, they'll take this kid away from me so I can start over."
3. "Oh, shit. I forgot about the one on the way."
4. "I'm really, really, really dumb."

Mommy Spears-est. That makes me giggle. I can't make this stuff up. Hopefully this kid makes it to his first birthday, but it looks pretty grim.

I'm going to start singing "app-li-cay-shuns...!" like Moira Kelly sang "toe-pick...!" in "The Cutting Edge" soon.