Thanks to Lynn for this one!
Friday, June 26, 2009
Friday, June 19, 2009
The Argument of a Not So Classic Beauty
So, there's this ongoing debate that goes something like this:
"It's inconsiderate when your partner changes their appearance; like gains a ton of weight. It's selfish."
"What do you mean? People gain weight when they get older; or they could have a medical condition; metabolism changes, women also gain weight differently than men, and vice versa. It doesn't mean they're selfish-- it means they're aging."
And so on, so so forth.
One time it was prompted by a super skinny man walking down the street holding the hand of a not so skinny woman, followed by a comment about the woman probably not being that size when they initially got together. And then all hell broke loose.
It's not the way it sounds-- of course medical conditions and extenuating circumstances don't play into the debate. But regardless, it always ruffles my feathers. Is it simply about looking at the whole men vs. women / venus mars thing another way? The debate is based on the theory that men are typically physically stimulated while women are emotionally stimulated. But I can't get past the superficial part of it. Because, do you really fall in love with the way someone looks? Is that a fundamental difference between men and women?
I get the whole, "You can't judge looks across the room" argument. Sure-- there's always some sort of physical attraction that draws you to someone initially. But for something sustainable, there has to be more. Maybe it's because I've never really fallen in love with traditionally "good looking" men-- by societal standards, I suppose. To me, they're really cute... but I've always been attracted to intelligence, humor, talent, personality. Once, when asked what my type was (likely in the period of my life that I refer to as the "lean" dating years), my sister quipped, "Dork." I loved that-- because to me, dorks are the smart, interesting ones. And I like the smart interesting ones. And lord knows I'm no classic beauty-- pretty average in fact; not fat, not thin; an interesting mix of features courtesy of my caucasian father and hawaiian / chinese / korean mother... but beautiful? Not so much.
Besides; personalities are constant (for the most part)... it's who you are. What you look like changes-- your hair gets gray, you get shorter, a little rounder around the edges... you get frown lines and laugh lines and your hair thins. There's a great quote that I've always remembered-- I can't remember the source, but it goes something like this:
"It's a wonderful thing as time goes by-- to be with someone who looks into your face when you've gotten old and still sees what you think you look like."
Everyone should be so blessed.
Because even if you're not traditionally beautiful, I don't think most people think they're ugly (at least I hope they don't). To me, everyone has beauty in them. I know it sounds cheesy, but I really believe that. To me, beauty is so much more than what someone looks like. It's kindness, it's compassion; it's intelligence, it's being able to make people laugh. Beauty doesn't last forever. But the other stuff does. At least a lifetime.
But maybe this is the argument of a not so classic beauty.
"It's inconsiderate when your partner changes their appearance; like gains a ton of weight. It's selfish."
"What do you mean? People gain weight when they get older; or they could have a medical condition; metabolism changes, women also gain weight differently than men, and vice versa. It doesn't mean they're selfish-- it means they're aging."
And so on, so so forth.
One time it was prompted by a super skinny man walking down the street holding the hand of a not so skinny woman, followed by a comment about the woman probably not being that size when they initially got together. And then all hell broke loose.
It's not the way it sounds-- of course medical conditions and extenuating circumstances don't play into the debate. But regardless, it always ruffles my feathers. Is it simply about looking at the whole men vs. women / venus mars thing another way? The debate is based on the theory that men are typically physically stimulated while women are emotionally stimulated. But I can't get past the superficial part of it. Because, do you really fall in love with the way someone looks? Is that a fundamental difference between men and women?
I get the whole, "You can't judge looks across the room" argument. Sure-- there's always some sort of physical attraction that draws you to someone initially. But for something sustainable, there has to be more. Maybe it's because I've never really fallen in love with traditionally "good looking" men-- by societal standards, I suppose. To me, they're really cute... but I've always been attracted to intelligence, humor, talent, personality. Once, when asked what my type was (likely in the period of my life that I refer to as the "lean" dating years), my sister quipped, "Dork." I loved that-- because to me, dorks are the smart, interesting ones. And I like the smart interesting ones. And lord knows I'm no classic beauty-- pretty average in fact; not fat, not thin; an interesting mix of features courtesy of my caucasian father and hawaiian / chinese / korean mother... but beautiful? Not so much.
Besides; personalities are constant (for the most part)... it's who you are. What you look like changes-- your hair gets gray, you get shorter, a little rounder around the edges... you get frown lines and laugh lines and your hair thins. There's a great quote that I've always remembered-- I can't remember the source, but it goes something like this:
"It's a wonderful thing as time goes by-- to be with someone who looks into your face when you've gotten old and still sees what you think you look like."
Everyone should be so blessed.
Because even if you're not traditionally beautiful, I don't think most people think they're ugly (at least I hope they don't). To me, everyone has beauty in them. I know it sounds cheesy, but I really believe that. To me, beauty is so much more than what someone looks like. It's kindness, it's compassion; it's intelligence, it's being able to make people laugh. Beauty doesn't last forever. But the other stuff does. At least a lifetime.
But maybe this is the argument of a not so classic beauty.
Friday, June 12, 2009
Firenze
So, I'm waaaaaayyy delayed in posting the rest of the photos from my Italy trip-- but, what better time than today? Let me just say that I love Florence. LOVE. I always thought of Florence as the equivalent of Chicago and Rome the equivalent of NYC. Florence is beautiful, and small (so fully walkable), generally clean (a feat for a city that is so overrun by touristas) and the BEST? it's a city known for paper. Paper you say? Yes-- my great passion. It's known for leather too, but that's not as interesting to me (although I did buy a beautiful bag...). There's also the gelato... oh, gelato. I could eat that three times a day... if it weren't for the homemade pasta. It's a carb-phobic person's nighhtmare (thankfully I'm not).
I first went to Florence with my dear friend K, all of 8 (or 9??) years ago. She was on a whirlwind trip of Europe, meeting friends in different countries before heading to business school (I got Italy, Switzerland and Austria). It was one of the best trips I've taken. She's a wonderful travel companion, we love most of the same things; she's so fun, organized, adventurous; and, loves paper AND gelato, that it made for the perfect trip. So it was a little bittersweet to be there without her, but it also brought back a lot of memories of our trip.
One big change that I noticed was the city was MUCH more crowded. And mostly with Americans. I was there around the same time I went almost 10 years ago, but there was definitely a more, almost Disneyland, vibe. I heard American accents more than Italian, which I have to say was disappointing. Every vendor spoke English which, while easier, made Italy lose some of its charm. All said, it lost a bit of the magic of the first trip, but I still loved it. There's something magical and romantic about Italy-- I don't know if it's the light or the art, but I can't wait to go back. Next time with MRN!
(K-- there's a special photo for you...see if you can pick it out!)
I first went to Florence with my dear friend K, all of 8 (or 9??) years ago. She was on a whirlwind trip of Europe, meeting friends in different countries before heading to business school (I got Italy, Switzerland and Austria). It was one of the best trips I've taken. She's a wonderful travel companion, we love most of the same things; she's so fun, organized, adventurous; and, loves paper AND gelato, that it made for the perfect trip. So it was a little bittersweet to be there without her, but it also brought back a lot of memories of our trip.
One big change that I noticed was the city was MUCH more crowded. And mostly with Americans. I was there around the same time I went almost 10 years ago, but there was definitely a more, almost Disneyland, vibe. I heard American accents more than Italian, which I have to say was disappointing. Every vendor spoke English which, while easier, made Italy lose some of its charm. All said, it lost a bit of the magic of the first trip, but I still loved it. There's something magical and romantic about Italy-- I don't know if it's the light or the art, but I can't wait to go back. Next time with MRN!
(K-- there's a special photo for you...see if you can pick it out!)
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
He vs She: The Gym
So, we've joined the gym-- and on day 11 of gym duty (meaning going to the gym every morning at 7 am... pause... YAY ME!!) and in the 10 days, let me just note, I have GAINED 3 pounds (WTF) but my favorite jeans no longer fit (need a belt). But beyond that, it's been absolutely enlightening going to the gym with a boy vs a girlfriend. Let me summarize:
1. Boys are competitive; they like to brag about how many calories they've burned and weights they've lifted. I don't know about you, but I'm more concerned about the TIME I'm doing cardio. Maybe it's 6 of one, half dozen of another (GCC-- are you SO impressed I got that one right?!? I've been practicing!!), but the fact that I can do 75 minutes of cardio vs his 30 means that I am the winner.
2. Boys take FOREVER. It's a big dramatic demonstration of waiting 5+ minutes between "reps" on the various weight machines. Girls? Wham, bam, thank you, ma'am. Get the work out done. Cardio? check. Weight machines? check. Free weights? check. Boys? Cardio? okaaaay.... wait around for 5 minutes.... Weight machines?... okay.... sit there for about 10 minutes between very dramatic breathing and flexing of lungs and muscles...
and so it goes.
I can get my whole work out done in 75 minutes. Cardio, weights, abs. On weekends I allow myself "fun time" in that I get to do the rowing machine, extending my workout to 90 minutes. But can I stomach THE BOY workout? am I going to have to extend my workout to 120 to accommodate?! Blaaaaahhhh... NEED SOME GIRLFRIENDS!!!!!!
1. Boys are competitive; they like to brag about how many calories they've burned and weights they've lifted. I don't know about you, but I'm more concerned about the TIME I'm doing cardio. Maybe it's 6 of one, half dozen of another (GCC-- are you SO impressed I got that one right?!? I've been practicing!!), but the fact that I can do 75 minutes of cardio vs his 30 means that I am the winner.
2. Boys take FOREVER. It's a big dramatic demonstration of waiting 5+ minutes between "reps" on the various weight machines. Girls? Wham, bam, thank you, ma'am. Get the work out done. Cardio? check. Weight machines? check. Free weights? check. Boys? Cardio? okaaaay.... wait around for 5 minutes.... Weight machines?... okay.... sit there for about 10 minutes between very dramatic breathing and flexing of lungs and muscles...
and so it goes.
I can get my whole work out done in 75 minutes. Cardio, weights, abs. On weekends I allow myself "fun time" in that I get to do the rowing machine, extending my workout to 90 minutes. But can I stomach THE BOY workout? am I going to have to extend my workout to 120 to accommodate?! Blaaaaahhhh... NEED SOME GIRLFRIENDS!!!!!!
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