Oh, Mary...

I got to watch the Emmy's (yay!)-- repeated on E! this afternoon. Not quite my sofa-surfing, pj kinda day, but better than nothing! It was run of the mill... I'd say the sharing of the hosting duties among the reality tv nominated hosts was a poor decision. No surprises, and even a bit dull at times (although, I will admit, that this might be because I have not watched television most of the year because of my wayfaring... or, homelessness, depending on how you want to look at it...). So, instead of focusing on who wore what, who won what and who did what, I thought I'd draw your attention to the Joan Rivers syndrome.

She was everywhere-- and yet, nowhere (or, maybe she's somewhere-- is TV Guide still a channel? Does she still have a gig there?). In the audience: a producer's wife; on stage: a writer; in front of the mic: Mary Tyler Moore.

Mary Tyler Moore?

Oh, yes. That Hollywood plastic surgeon has obviously been working overtime. As much as it pains me to criticize one of the queens of comedy, it's true. She has Joan Rivers' face. Or, at least her cheekbones.

It was made ever-more obvious by Betty White standing beside her onstage in all her 80-year old, natural beauty. Good old Betty White.

Maybe if I were under that sort of scrutiny-- or pressure, I might think differently of having Joan Rivers' face... well, actually... no...

600 Channels (UPDATE)

So, I just found out that I can watch the Emmy's next week-- whahoo! and LIVE! I only have to stay up until 4 a.m. to do so (it starts at 1 a.m.).


I'm not really going to do that. But thought you'd be interested to know that I could.

Still miss tivo...

600 Channels...

... and nothing on tv. I know, I know... the same complaint of every obsessive, tv-loving individual. Except, really-- I MEAN it. NOTHING. This is primetime... fall sweeps... when all the series we know and love pick back up. It's my play-off season. And I am in ENGLAND. Most [sane] people wouldn't appreciate the full impact of that statement. So let me spell it out for you. NO NEW TV. AT ALL.

Maybe further clarification is in order.

The UK, like the US, has cable tv. That translates to hundreds and hundreds of channels that you could never possibly watch. And (for me), even better: it's mostly US shows. Friends, Everybody Loves Raymond, CSI, Law and Order, Grey's, Desperate Housewives, you name it, they've got it. Except, it's old. Re-run central... all the time. No new episodes. At all. And, to add insult to injury, the SAME shows are repeated multiple times PER DAY. While we've come to expect this during daytime hours (which, really doesn't matter since the majority of us are working during the day or chasing after little ones so can't eat let alone switch on the tv), it's the same at NIGHT. No new TV. What's up with that?

I'm especially disappointed that I do not get to partake in the 90210 remake action. I know... I'm sad with a capital SAD. I got to catch the first two episodes of the renewed series, and I am beyond disappointed that I won't get to find out who Kelly's son's father is; what happens to Brenda; if Donna will make an appearance (or any of the old cast, for that matter)... errr, yeah... sort of only into the original cast; although, I have to say, the new kids are intriguing... and while this new-fangled trend of offering full episodes free on network websites (see my post on the topic from a few years ago) is still the best thing since sliced bread, I have less appreciation for it given they BLOCK non-U.S. downloads / viewers. What's this discrimination about?!

When new shows do air here, they're about 6 months behind the US schedule... and how I hate to be missing stuff... it's why I don't sleep... I don't want to miss anything. *SIGH* So, if any of you, dear readers, might be willing to keep me posted on the happenings of my favorite tv characters, I would be forever in your debt. One thing is for sure. It's a good thing that I like Friends. Because it's on tv... all day... everyday... I'll Be There For You indeed.

P.S. I still miss Tivo.

Project Mo(u)ld

mold (Brit. mould). noun. a furry growth of minute fungal hyphae ocurring typically in moist warm conditions, esp. on food or other organic matter.

So, in addition to the endless rain that seems omnipresent in this neck of the woods (I miss you, Al Roker), I've been introduced to a new friend: mo(u)ld. Yes; in the UK it is spelled with a u (see previous post). Unfortunately, it's not mould as in on the garden wall or back steps... but mould as in on my clothes that are happily hung in the closet. ummmm... yeah. And apparently, while use of a space heater is a good thing when it comes to warming up the damp cold house, it's a very, very bad thing when it comes to a breeding ground for mould all over my work suits, cashmere sweaters and courdoroy... and basically everything else made of natural fibers (including leather shoes). Good news-- all my fake, leather, $10 H&M bags are safe. Next (and urgent) purchase: Dehumidifier.

Out and Proud

My name is Mikie. And I'm a Yank.

This has never been as painfully obvious as when I'm tooling about town doing menial things like buying groceries or visiting the post office. Even greeting people on the street ("you tawkin' to me?") seems to be an exercise in foreign behavior, but I don't know if that's too many years living in NYC, or truly a result of living in a new country (of course, if you saw the 'hood that I'm in now, you wouldn't talk to people on the street either. Ha-- so much for big city living prepping me for anything!). As I attempt to adopt British-isms (without sounding like Madonna), I have started to document the following insights:

• Note that you are taking coffee "to take away" as opposed to "to go" (applies for fast food and even liquor-- yes! no open container laws here).
• Doggie bags are gauche here. Don't finish your extraordinarily large portion of food (because the U.S. is not the only obese nation anymore, after all)? You're out of luck. It's going in the trash.
• "Z's" are "S's" and things have random "U's" inserted... behavioUr; honoUr.
• People look at you funny when you say "thank you" or "have a good day." Okay, not necessarily an oddity reserved for the UK, but my parents raised me to be polite, so I'll continue to complain about this wherever I am.
• "How are you?" will solicit equally odd looks. Replace with "Are you alright?" but run it together so that it sounds like "Awyouaiight?" Hmmm... perhaps New Yorkers would fit in better here than originally thought...
• "Hello" or "Hi" is "Hiya."
• Crock pots are Slow Cookers.
• They don't have Ziploc bags... plastic ones with ties instead. Definitely not as convenient.
• It's not "ground" beef it's "minced."
• You make breadcrumbs, not buy them.
  

I'm certain there will be even more observations to come... but I'm a fast learner. But don't worry-- I have some friends on point to beat me down if I start sounding like Madonna.

I'm An Alien

I'm a legal alien. I'm a New Yorker in England. Okay, well, New Yorker twice removed. But Sting's song wouldn't work otherwise... and you know how I love me some Sting. In any case-- I've arrived!! Let the wayfaring begin! Now that I've finally made it across the pond, I promise to be more consistent with updates... and hopefully they will include photos of the beautiful places I plan to attend. Next up: Manchester City Centre, Preston and London. Okay, so not too thrilling... but, wayfaring just the same (and considering I continue to avoid driving... well, certainly on the wrong side of the roads here, it will be an adventure nonetheless). Tales of public transportation outside of London (the horror!) and becoming a resident (national insurance numbers? tax codes?) abound. Hope you're looking forward to the headaches-- err, ride, as much as I am. Good news is that this time I only got held for 10 minutes in immigration this time. Yahoo!

Don't drink coffee, I drink tea my dear...

Holy A Cappella

No pun intended (well, okay, maybe a little bit of one intended). The times sure have a-changed since my a cappella days. Check out the group (ALL-FEMALE AT THAT!!) who won the National Collegiate A Cappella Championships last year... there's NO WAY we could have pulled this off (especially with my tragic lack of coordination). This is BYU's Noteworthy.



Post Script: And what is UP with every Mormon (at least that I know) being uber-talented? Is there not one tone-deaf / dance-challenged person in the bunch?