Coming down

With all the excitement and stress that comes with wedding planning, the weeks after are a huge let down. It was an amazing process and day-- and gosh, my amazing sister who executed the entire extravaganza. She gave me my dream wedding with all the talent, generosity of spirit and kindness that anyone could ever give. She has an amazingly unselfish heart, my sister, and I'm so blessed that have someone in my life that loves me that much. Unconditional love isn't just from parent to child! My sister taught me that.

In all, I have to admit that the post-wedding blues have gotten to me. Maybe in part it's because all the chaos that has been my life for the last few years (whirlwind romance, move to a new country, new job, engagement, wedding...) has finally come to a close and I'm a bit restless and in a "what's next" mood. I think a big part is that I have to now focus on the other stuff that's been easy to bury, like the fact that I'm super dissatisfied with my dead-end job, and am overwhelmed by the prospect of having to look for a new one. Not that I have to... but I've always been an over-achiever, and I am not happy with the fact that I am underutilized, unchallenged and my quickly rising career has gone backwards since taking the job in England.

With all the wedding hoopla, I also realized how very much I miss my family and friends... and that I'm lonely for them. It was the best thing in the world to have all the people that I love best in the world all in one place (minus my wonderful Kristina who had a good excuse-- 8 months pregnant!). I don't like that time zones make it impossible to talk to most people; that I can't go to lunch or shopping with my mom on a random weekday after work; that Kristina and I can't go for a walk down Michigan Avenue under the guise of returning stuff, but really because we want to go shopping (and so I can show her that you really CAN get great stuff on sale at Anthropologie); that I can't be a third wheel with Jen and Eddie on a Sunday afternoon to Costco... that I can't just sit in my sister's living room coloring with my beautiful nieces and stealing cuddles (and learning a heck of a lot from those little things who are WAY smarter than their old aunty). I adore my amazing husband... and now in the calm after the storm, I suppose we have to together figure out...

What next?