Thursday, May 11, 2006

Overcompensation (& Burberry Plaid)

Rain, rain, go away...

Day three... rain. Yes; I realize that I shouldn't be complaining... given the 60 days (+) of rain that the northwest has experienced, but even still, rain in Chicago is a unique and special thing... remember the windy city... I do not lie.

But I digress.

If you've ever lived in a "walking city"-- and I feel like I at the very least can genuinely contribute to this (given at age 30, I have never owned a car...), and as an adult, I've only lived in them: NYC and Chicago, you KNOW that this is true: men carry extraodinarily large unbrellas.

Perhaps if you've never lived in a "walking" city, you don't know exactly what this entails. Well, let me tell you. The "extraordinarily large" umbrella is commonly known as the golf umbrella... in other words, an umbrella large enough to comfortably house 4 (yes, FOUR) people.

Yes, four. But the problem is, that the umbrella built for four is housing only one-- and let me tell you; I can't even count on two hands how many "MEN" I see on a drizzly day carrying the massive four-person umbrella.

wtf!!?!?

Granted... not every man succumbs to the "big umbrella" complex. Some of them don't carry any at all. But I must say that you will never see a woman with an overly-large umbrella. Attn, men: Get over it. We're on to you.

But just so I remain unbiased, and don't appear to be a "man-hater" (because that is certainly NOT the case...), let me comment on the Burberry woman.

Let's just say this: today I witnessed (count them) TWO women who were all-out clad in designer gear. Both with plaid Burberry raincoats, galoshes AND hats... HATS. All Burberry plaid. I don't get it. Don't you know what a lame ass you look like?? And let me remind you... TWO. Not just the one, maybe-write-it-off-as-"Hollywood-wanna-be" lay-deee.... that would be TWO.

UGH.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Today I used a large umbrella - so large my arms were aching after 2 minutes. At 2.5 minutes the wind inverted the umbrella and ripped some of the fabric. It was traumatic because I thought I was going to fly away with it. My favorite big umbrella is now limping. I'm so sad. Wind wind go away...
PS. I love my Burberry raincoat but I only wear it on sunny days :-).

Anonymous said...

I realize that "anecdote" is not the singular of "data," but just for the record, I wanted to mention that I've seen more than one woman here in Boston plowing down the sidewalk with a golf umbrella.

Also, the Burberry tartan is like a uniform that people I won't like are considerate enough to dress in, so that I can know to avoid them.

Anonymous said...

Ha, Ha. You don't see that in Hawaii. Doesn't usually rain enough to warrant actual rain gear. I missed the 40 straight days of rain though in March & April, so maybe we did have some designer-clad wannabes. I'm sure they made a killing at Neimans during that time. Talk about overkill!